Celebrity Death Match
As the world turns at an alarming rate, many things are left to question....what is the meaning of life, how did the dinosaurs become extinct, what is the missing link. Its a good thing that its a friday and i don't want to figure any of that shit out or even make an effort to. Nope, today i want to focus on more shallow issues of equal importance. It's a question that has baffled the top scientists and drunken college students alike. Who could Toby Maguire beat up? This has been a topic of discussion for a while because of the sheer thought that has to go into selecting someone of that physical misfortune to be deemed a worthy selection. Im going to make this an interactive blog. Post your comments and picks or suggestions of other canidates not mentioned. Here are the rules to the game. They have to be male and celebrities of some sort. They can't be handicapped and they have to be around the same age as Toby Maguire. Here is some more info about our hero.
For those of you that don't know Toby Maguire played as spiderman and the pussiest jockey ever in Seabuscuit.
His mom and dad divorced right when he was born. Insiders close to the family claim it was because they were embarassed by their son.
His real name is Tobias
He has a 9th grade high school education. This is directly due to the fact that his mom took him out of school because he spent more time shoved in his locker than in class. Either that or to pursue acting.
He is a vegan because he cares about animals. Thats probably why he stared in a movie that repopularized the sport of horseracing which focuses on beating animals in order for them to speed down a dirt track dangerously in pursuit of profiting off their suffering. oops.
He doesn't use alcohol or drugs because his body is weak enough
Enjoys Yoga and crying, all except the crying part.
Toby was originally set to play Officer Hoyt in trainer day but was cut when sources close to the cast claimed that he wet himself after denzel yelled at him. Later on the director apologized for the miscommunication and made a public statement saying that Toby Maguire just wasn't very believeable in the role as a police officer. Then one reporter stated that the one of the village people was a police officer.
He had to pack on 25 pounds to look like the pussiest spiderman i could have ever imagined....ever.
These are the 3 canidates in line for an asskicking from Toby Maguire.
1. Topher Grace: He is one of the stars on "That 70's Show" He plays a man that is trapt in a boys body. He usually just hobbles around the set getting rejected by girls.
2. Ferris Bueller: Ok, i know that he is grown up now and yes, i know thats not his real name however it's 5:1 that Toby Maguire may still be able to kick his ass even today.
3. Jack from Will & Grace. Do i really need to go into depth on this one?
REMEMBER: POST YOUR COMMENTS!!!!!!! and also remember:
You could beat the shit out of Toby Maguire
For those of you that don't know Toby Maguire played as spiderman and the pussiest jockey ever in Seabuscuit.
His mom and dad divorced right when he was born. Insiders close to the family claim it was because they were embarassed by their son.
His real name is Tobias
He has a 9th grade high school education. This is directly due to the fact that his mom took him out of school because he spent more time shoved in his locker than in class. Either that or to pursue acting.
He is a vegan because he cares about animals. Thats probably why he stared in a movie that repopularized the sport of horseracing which focuses on beating animals in order for them to speed down a dirt track dangerously in pursuit of profiting off their suffering. oops.
He doesn't use alcohol or drugs because his body is weak enough
Enjoys Yoga and crying, all except the crying part.
Toby was originally set to play Officer Hoyt in trainer day but was cut when sources close to the cast claimed that he wet himself after denzel yelled at him. Later on the director apologized for the miscommunication and made a public statement saying that Toby Maguire just wasn't very believeable in the role as a police officer. Then one reporter stated that the one of the village people was a police officer.
He had to pack on 25 pounds to look like the pussiest spiderman i could have ever imagined....ever.
These are the 3 canidates in line for an asskicking from Toby Maguire.
1. Topher Grace: He is one of the stars on "That 70's Show" He plays a man that is trapt in a boys body. He usually just hobbles around the set getting rejected by girls.
2. Ferris Bueller: Ok, i know that he is grown up now and yes, i know thats not his real name however it's 5:1 that Toby Maguire may still be able to kick his ass even today.
3. Jack from Will & Grace. Do i really need to go into depth on this one?
REMEMBER: POST YOUR COMMENTS!!!!!!! and also remember:
You could beat the shit out of Toby Maguire
posted by mcbride at 2:35 PM
2 Comments:
how about screech and/or urkel versus toby??
Would the guy that played "webster" count as handicapped or deformed? He's just a midget that looks like a little kid, but can get around just fine.
Toby might have a chance against him.
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