Roller Derby

For anyone that remembers roller derby they are now upset at me for reminding them of how their lives aren't complete without it. For those who don't know, roller derby was this sport back in the day that combined roller skating with assault and battery. Roller derby was the tits! Honestly i can't think of one sport that was less mindless and violent than roller derby. At a young age i learned that basics of roller derby from what is saw on TV. The object of the game is to clothesline as many people as possible while trying also trying to jump kick them in the face with roller skates. The official roller derby rules state that the objective is a little different than than how i stated it saying that it is kind of a race however this is more a secondary goal.



Roller derby was a huge west coast thing. They had an arena with like padded bars that lined a track that the teams skated around. I used to sit in front of the TV for hours watching people get pushed off the elevated track, fall like 8 feet and land on concrete while going like 20 miles and hour...into a pole...of doom. There were even girl leagues to with some of the toughest chicks i have ever seen. I mean these girls looked like they ate nails and shit belt buckles. Most of the "Players" were missing teeth and looked like they had didn't have a drug of choice because they liked them all. Roller derby was always on like TBS or TNT or some like B list channel. It was amazing though. It also had some wresting like drama where there would be cut scenes of fans fighting players and people getting hit with chairs except it was all real. If roller derby was still around white trash people wouldn't even be concerned with Nascar. Yes, nascar is a white trash sport. Ask a black person. Rollerball was a movie that was loosley based off the sport roller derby however roller derby is played without smiling or teamwork. In an age of "roughing the passer", "cross-checking" and other penalties, its good to know that there is a sport that encourages all of it.




Supposably there is a new series called Texas Rollergirls that is premiering but i haven't heard anything else on it.






Roller Derby: Just picture boxing mixed with roller skating