Panera and Starbucks Joined Forces to Piss Me Off

Untill the other day i was under the impression that all the pseudo intellectual poets congregated at starbucks and that was their hub. All of them in some persuit to be unique or some other "finding themselves" bullshit. How fucking unique are you when you hang around with people who are exactly the same as you. Think about that while you sip your double almond latte venti or whatever size chart starbucks has so you can sound even dumber when you make an order like that. I shouldn't be suprising anyone yet with any of this, however i think im onto something and the town of Amherst, Massachusetts will never be the same again. I think that their is a bitter war between Panera bread and Starbucks coffee to gain market share in the "early 20's to mid 43ish pseudo intellectual tortured artist theater major" demographic. This may get pretty ugly. IFC may go off the air, concert posters will get torn down, alternative brand cigarettes will fly off the shelves, there will be a shortage of laptop computers and books that no one has ever heard of. Both sides will gather loyal customers all in an effort to piss me off. And those customers will always be present when ever i go to either place. If i am at starbucks i will be plauged with 2 people at a table on laptops while listening to music and reading a book at the same time while having a conversation about the politics of guam or some other country that i couldn't point out on a map without a lucky dart throw. If i was at panera there would be hippies around the fireplace taking all the good seats and reading books. Half the time these assholes aren't even eating or drinking anything, just sitting there reading. Here is an idea, i know this great place that you don't eat or drink at and you can read your book in peace.....its called the public fucking library. The best is that these places post all that "fair trade" propaganda everywhere making you feel good for consuming the products of a starving people just as long as starbucks gives them Nike sneakers and Coca-Cola Classic in return. What underdeveloped country needs books when you can just stock up on trendy shoes and soda? This probably isn't how fair trade works but either way im sure that somehow through american greed the "shoes for coffee" plan will be implemented. And you want to talk "fair trade" how the fuck is 8 dollars for a panera sandwich meal a fair trade? I could have bought 7 Jr. bacon cheeseburgers and still had enough money to make a 20 minute phone call to those third world countries to discuss if they really felt that they were getting a "fair trade" for their coffee beans. While i am at it i will ask them how their Nike's fit.