Welcome to the World of Men
Women who are reading this right now think they know what i am about to type. Men however know differently. A man's man knows that women are clueless about our world and will never know. The reason they don't know is that a man's world only manifests when it's just you and your boys or just you by yourself. No girls around. Kind of like the YMCA except not even close. Pretty much the complete opposite. Welcome.
Guys when they are in the man's world are all about honor, pride, and principle. Guys do things cause it makes them feel like a man. Not cause it tastes good, not cause it feels good, but sheerly out of principle. A man can go out into the woods alone with an axe. Wearing plaid and flannel and scuffed boots.....wait hold on.....it doesn't even matter what he does. I'll leave you in suspense cause right now every single guy that is reading this is getting a hard on out of excitement. It's the same way as when a man gets a hole in his jeans. He is proud of his hole cause he earned it when he fell off his motorcycle. I get excited about the thought of putting in an airconditioner or going out and shoveling 3 feet of snow. Steak excites me. A woman can eat a huge meal and feel guiltly. I will eat a 5 pound steak if it means that i win a bet with another man. Thats how we work. Some things are manditory. Dares are one of them. That is why it is called manning-up. Women will never understand the joy i get from using a cicular saw. I also know that the more dirty my shirt is, the more of a man i am. Scars are tattoos with better stories. Guys will just go out with a shovel and dig a hole for no reason just to use a shovel. Then they will take the dirt into a wheelbarrel and dump it and make a mound. Then measure how deep the hole is just so they can use measuring tape. I just got a cell phone and i'm disapointed in myself. Men want to paint their house, even if it doesn't need painting. Guys know that cutting down trees with axes or even a hacket is manlier than using a chainsaw. However if you cut the tree up into little pieces with the chainsaw that that is pretty manly. Especially if you use old worn out gloves when you use the chainsaw. I can change a flat tire and i am proud of this. I once went out with a bunch of real men to wendy's and we got triple cheeseburgers with extra bacon, extra cheese, and extra mayo, biggie sized with a milkshake. Just because of the principle of the matter. I hate mayo, but that day. I ate everything. Just because i had to. And to guys, this all made perfect sense. I want to learn how to shave with a straight edge, not cause its a cleaner shave but just because i would take such pride in that talent. Anything that any of our grandfather's did was manly. Until the day that he died, my grandfather was a manlier man than i will ever be. I will eat with a knife when i need a spoon if a guy tells me that it would be funny if i did so. The less you bring camping, the better the camping trip. Especially if you are camping on a jagged cliffside or teasing bears. You would also have to have alcohol and build fires and shower in rivers. If i were ever able to wrestle a crocodile, you guys would have already known about it. If i could build a toolshed....I would. I drink beers while i mow my lawn with my shirt off and i get sweaty and i think im sexy. Sorting trash sucks but its worth getting to ride on the back of a dumptruck cause that is awesome. I bought a car that had a standard transmission even though i didn't know how to drive stick. I taught myself and i felt like a man. Playing cards is pretty manly but only if you place bets and are drinking and there are no girls around so you can swear and smoke cigars in the house. Real men are drinking cheap alcohol right now out of principle. I would touch a hot burner right now if a man dared me to do it. I wish i could cook everything on a charcoal grill. I have seen a man put cigarettes out in his arm because he knew other guys were impressed. Men feel accomplishment out of installing anything. Even more accomplishment out of fixing things. Men split wood for fun and cause its dangerous. If i was named Earl, i wouldn't get laid but i would feel like more of a man. When i told other men that my name was earl, they would step down from my male superiority.
GIRLS ENDING
The truth of the matter is that all this doesn't make a man. A man is a mix of all of this plus the compassion and love that they find so hard to show at times. Men are simple yes, however they complex themselves with all of this-- making it tough to balance the urge to fit into a new metrosexual culture with the manly roots that were laid by his grandfather. Through life everyman finds his place. A real man knows that his place is where he finds most comfortable. i found mine as a mix of blood, sweat, and tears.
GUYS ENDING
Just know that the woman of your dreams will love your manly stubble and or beard. There still are girls that are impressed by a good old fashioned bar fight. Women still loved to be swept off their feet....literally. Keep up the good work. Im so proud of us that i could cry but i won't cause that would be girly. So instead i will just end with the fact that i kicked this blogs ass cause i am a real man and thats what we do. Send this to every real man that you know. Spread the good word and in the words of James Brown "It's a mans' world."
Guys when they are in the man's world are all about honor, pride, and principle. Guys do things cause it makes them feel like a man. Not cause it tastes good, not cause it feels good, but sheerly out of principle. A man can go out into the woods alone with an axe. Wearing plaid and flannel and scuffed boots.....wait hold on.....it doesn't even matter what he does. I'll leave you in suspense cause right now every single guy that is reading this is getting a hard on out of excitement. It's the same way as when a man gets a hole in his jeans. He is proud of his hole cause he earned it when he fell off his motorcycle. I get excited about the thought of putting in an airconditioner or going out and shoveling 3 feet of snow. Steak excites me. A woman can eat a huge meal and feel guiltly. I will eat a 5 pound steak if it means that i win a bet with another man. Thats how we work. Some things are manditory. Dares are one of them. That is why it is called manning-up. Women will never understand the joy i get from using a cicular saw. I also know that the more dirty my shirt is, the more of a man i am. Scars are tattoos with better stories. Guys will just go out with a shovel and dig a hole for no reason just to use a shovel. Then they will take the dirt into a wheelbarrel and dump it and make a mound. Then measure how deep the hole is just so they can use measuring tape. I just got a cell phone and i'm disapointed in myself. Men want to paint their house, even if it doesn't need painting. Guys know that cutting down trees with axes or even a hacket is manlier than using a chainsaw. However if you cut the tree up into little pieces with the chainsaw that that is pretty manly. Especially if you use old worn out gloves when you use the chainsaw. I can change a flat tire and i am proud of this. I once went out with a bunch of real men to wendy's and we got triple cheeseburgers with extra bacon, extra cheese, and extra mayo, biggie sized with a milkshake. Just because of the principle of the matter. I hate mayo, but that day. I ate everything. Just because i had to. And to guys, this all made perfect sense. I want to learn how to shave with a straight edge, not cause its a cleaner shave but just because i would take such pride in that talent. Anything that any of our grandfather's did was manly. Until the day that he died, my grandfather was a manlier man than i will ever be. I will eat with a knife when i need a spoon if a guy tells me that it would be funny if i did so. The less you bring camping, the better the camping trip. Especially if you are camping on a jagged cliffside or teasing bears. You would also have to have alcohol and build fires and shower in rivers. If i were ever able to wrestle a crocodile, you guys would have already known about it. If i could build a toolshed....I would. I drink beers while i mow my lawn with my shirt off and i get sweaty and i think im sexy. Sorting trash sucks but its worth getting to ride on the back of a dumptruck cause that is awesome. I bought a car that had a standard transmission even though i didn't know how to drive stick. I taught myself and i felt like a man. Playing cards is pretty manly but only if you place bets and are drinking and there are no girls around so you can swear and smoke cigars in the house. Real men are drinking cheap alcohol right now out of principle. I would touch a hot burner right now if a man dared me to do it. I wish i could cook everything on a charcoal grill. I have seen a man put cigarettes out in his arm because he knew other guys were impressed. Men feel accomplishment out of installing anything. Even more accomplishment out of fixing things. Men split wood for fun and cause its dangerous. If i was named Earl, i wouldn't get laid but i would feel like more of a man. When i told other men that my name was earl, they would step down from my male superiority.
GIRLS ENDING
The truth of the matter is that all this doesn't make a man. A man is a mix of all of this plus the compassion and love that they find so hard to show at times. Men are simple yes, however they complex themselves with all of this-- making it tough to balance the urge to fit into a new metrosexual culture with the manly roots that were laid by his grandfather. Through life everyman finds his place. A real man knows that his place is where he finds most comfortable. i found mine as a mix of blood, sweat, and tears.
GUYS ENDING
Just know that the woman of your dreams will love your manly stubble and or beard. There still are girls that are impressed by a good old fashioned bar fight. Women still loved to be swept off their feet....literally. Keep up the good work. Im so proud of us that i could cry but i won't cause that would be girly. So instead i will just end with the fact that i kicked this blogs ass cause i am a real man and thats what we do. Send this to every real man that you know. Spread the good word and in the words of James Brown "It's a mans' world."
posted by mcbride at 10:22 PM
2 Comments:
Hey! You said you were gonna update like every day. What's the deal???
basically i was lazy over break, im trying to make up for it.
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