Fight Your Own Revolution

I haven't checked out the paper today but im sure somewhere mixed in on the cover page probably reads something like this "Car bomb explodes outside of Baghdad - 14 killed" It's gotten so bad lately and what efforts are really feasable to prevent suicide bombings anyways?...none. So why are we trying to prevent them? What type of threat does Iraq really present anyways...what are so special about Iraqi's that their lives are worth the lives of our kin who are dying trying to help an ungreatful nation in the first place. The U.S. didn't learn its lesson in Kuwait so i wasn't suprised when we expected anything in return from a Middle-Eastern country.

This is a summary of the happenings of the first Gulf war.

Iraq was engaging in a hostile takover of kuwait
Kuwait started crying because they have a crappy military because they are all rich and pay other countries lavishly to import soldiers and warcrafts.
Kuwait also pays everyone to do everything for them even routine services are all outsouced to other people.
U.S. got involved hoping that Kuwait would cut them a deal on oil if they helped liberate them
A newly liberated kuwait pays someone to tell the U.S. to go fuck itself.


So knowing this, why would Kuwaits unfriendly neighbor to the North ever be greatful for us liberating them. I honestly can say that the efforts that we made in that region of the area have not been worth it. There are more ways to peace then just going to war to achieve it. And that thing called diplomacy? Oh nevermind. I decied to write a blog dealing with the face that countries should be left to fight their own revolutions. If there is a great enough demand for a revolution it will happen. If an unpopular leader is in charge...just overthrow the government. It happens all the time in other countries so why didn't it catch on in Iraq.

The story of the American Revolution

as told by an undereducated college student who grossly misrepresents historical information and hasn't had a history class in 6 years. (dates, names, places, and events are undoubtedly way off)


The year was 1773, Benjamin Franklin probably hadn't discoved electricity yet or maybe he did. Our story takes place in boston. A bunch of drunken minutemen were sitting at a bar being fed up with paying taxes to britain especially if all they did with their money was sip tea, talk like pussies, and wear wigs. So they skipped out of the bar without paying their tabs and met up with some indians in boston harbor and together they dumped out lots of tea into the harbor because tea isn't as good as coffee. The Americans later thanked the indians for their help by seizing their land. After this a guy named nathaniel held a meeting to discuss issues in a place later known as nathaniel hall. Britain was swift to retaliate and later that same year there was a small scale massacre right in the center of boston. British soldier aparently open fire on a crowd of angry Redsox fans. Later on in that year people did stuff in charlotte, nc. No one knows why but for some reason i remember people doing stuff there. To increase moral, brewer and patriot sam adams decided to increase production of his famous ale. Sam's older brother John Adams was like so i can get free beer and become president....where do i sign? Then a young general from Virginia named George Washington was like, hey im going to fake cutting down a cherry tree so parents will have a moral lesson to teach their kids about. He was praised for his idea and was named president. It was then that tension really heated up and between England and the colonies. Thomas Jefferson was like "This is so weak" and he made the constitution to govern the country. He made sure it was as vauge as possible so that it could be grossly misinterpreted centuries later. Later that day, an infuriated Thomas Jefferson, heated for having to pay tax on slaves, was like thats it, i've had it, and created the declaration of independence which was signed on July 4th, 1776. John Handcock was the first to sign and used large script. Onlookers were astonished by his large "cock" They praised him for also having the balls to show it to the British Parliment. A now infuriated Britain was ready to fight. Paul Revere was like "I got the job!" and rode his horse doing laps around the old north church until he saw the british vomiting from dizziness just watching him. Then he yelled to his miinutemen coleagues and they jumped out of the bushes and started sniping them. Then ships in the harbor started blowing each other to shit and Francis Scott Key was like "screw america the beautiful, this kicks ass" Then George Washington took a boat across a river just so someone could paint a picture of him and for bragging rights. Martha Washington was like i want to help so George lovingly put her to work cooking, cleaning, and sewing. Hours later she showed George the new flag that she made however his focus was on why she had not prepared dinner. Without a word the angry general pointed to the kitchen and she returned to her home. In vermont things were quite different. Nathaniel Hale and his green mountain boys loaded off of magic hat and homegrown layed down their weapons and started a peace rally. The confused british soldiers however perrished because Vermont winters are cold like none other. In the south the fighting continued because the southerners couldn't read the peace treaty that the British wrote to them. After the war was over Britain was like oh we weren't really trying that hard. And America was like "I guess we will be friends with you losers" Then America was like hey do you want to like team up and just own the world and britain was like yeah that sounds ok, so that what happened.



a few minor details may be off but this is pretty acurate