My cousin could beat the shit out of your dad

My cousin is a real american hero. I've been wanting to write this blog for a while but i haven't gotten around too it. Sorry by the way for the long wait between entries . My cousin who's name im not going to release is basically a modern day james bond. He works for the federal govt. special ops unit or some sneaky KGB style organization that probably thrives on being undetected and undocumented. He drives a bullet proof blazer with like machine guns and grenades and missles and shit, all except maybe the missles...maybe. From what he has told me you just fold down the seat and there lies an ammunition stock that could supply an army. Its all just for him. Basically he is trained in pretty much every method of self defense and by self defense i mean shooting people so that they can't harm him. My cousin shoots and asks questions later, actually he probably doesnt even ask questions. If my cousin was fighting bruce lee, bruce lee would try to jump kick him and my cousin would just stab him in the heart, make one phone call and no one would ever hear of the incident ever again. Either that or call in an air strike. My cousin once had his mom store his guns for him at her house. At my cousins wedding reception and sang to his wife and played an electric guitar. That is the type of man he is. He also cut his wedding cake with a sword because he is so beyond knives and safety. My cousin used to baby sit me when i was younger and he taught me how to be a man. He once played baseball with me in my house and swung a bat at our chandellier and broke a lot of lights cause he knew it was worth it. I asked him if he remembered the incident but he doesn't because he probabaly had his mind erased by the government. My cousin was a sky marshall post 9/11 because if a terrorist tried to hyjack his plane he would escort them off the plane...at 30,000 ft. My cousin used to work for the FBI and maybe even the swat team. My cousin probably chooses to live in washington state because of its shitty weather. That is how much of a man he is. He recently got hired by LAPD to fight gangs in south central. When he got there they couldn't afford his services because that many caskets would have been expensive. Right now i don't even know where my cousin is, but then again, neither does he. He just does whatever it takes to protect his family, country, and the american way. So cousin, wherever you are, thank you.



This is a picture of my cousin from a few years ago.







my cousin thwarts major terrorist attacks like its his job because it is