A Twist on a Classic Repost

A profile for the ladies:
Its a damn shame that romance died so that MTV could have spring break and everyone could hook up with each other. I know that guys are a major let down, but i mean girls too have their regrets. Its just such a shame that girls regrets are not going after the guy they truly know is right for them. Why wont a girl just go up to a guy and be like "i love you damn it!, i 've always loved you, i've never felt more at home than i do when im with you, you may not feel the same way about me but im willing to give up everything i hold dear just to have one chance to prove to you that i've made up my mind, losing you is better than never knowing if i could have had you my love"... A guys football would instantly deflate and he would then have to marry you. Guys want girls with balls, just not literally. So make the moves ladies, its not like you haven’t done it 300 times over in your head already.

Dont end up like this:





This girl didn't take my advice and the boy of her dreams fell in love with her best friend.


Playing hard to get will land you a player, ever notice? Real men like real women. Ladies, dont be an idiot and play games. Be true to the man you want and sweep him off his feet. Be irresistable and upfront to him. A beautiful girl that is upfront and knows what she wants: That isn't playing hard to get, that is hard to get. And what man could resist that.

-Mcbride

Brian Finnigan was awesome at college.

Brian Finnigan was better at college than anyone in the world. Ok thats a bold statement but I went to college for 5 years and I never once met anyone that even came close to partying as hard as Brian...I have never met anyone in my life that has ever come close...like even remotely close. I get wasted. I have had some wild times.
http://ryanmcbride.blogspot.com/2004/10/it-was-best-of-times-it-was-worst-of.html

http://ryanmcbride.blogspot.com/2004/12/accomplishments.html

But nothing I have ever seen or heard about compares to Brian.
Brian was my 21 year old roomate freshman year at Champlain College in Burlington, VT. I also had 2 other roomates that were budding prospects of Brian just waiting to get their wings. Everything I have ever learned about college. I learned from Brian Finnigan. This page is dedicated to the man, the myth, the legend...Brian Finnigan. Brian was a 6 foot 4 tall and lengthy Irish kid with a shaved head for southie..(south boston) Like you don't understand, right now I have such a huge responsibility to do this kid the justice that he deserves that I have waited years to write this blog just so i could get it perfect. Here is a summary of how much better Brian was than your best friend that you think can outdrink anyone. We lived in the top peak of that building above. Summit house. Top floor. Top of the campus. Top of Burlington. How suiting for the story.




-Brian ordered all of us to remove our desks from the room so that we could have more space to party. We left one desk for "Atmosphere" he called it.

-He made a nerd splice some cable wires so that we got free cable and ordered the poor kid to do it for the rest of the building. As a reward Brian made fun of the kid's haircut.

-Brian smoked probably 2 packs of Newports a day. Keep in mind that he smoked in bed when he woke up and before he went to bed.

-Brain ordered all of us to go out and buy black sheets and create walls by pinning up the sheets in an elaborate manner across the room creating doors, hallways, and seperate rooms.

-Brian bought a home entertainment center that was 5 feet tall and told us that we had to throw all of our empty cigarette packs behind it untill it piled over the top.

-Brian taught me the "we" education principle. Here's how it goes, just refer to the teacher and yourself as we and use it against them. He would emphasis that the efforts that he put in were a diffect effect of the efforts of the teacher and how it looked poor on both their parts. He also then suggested that "they" take the test over. The rest is history. It also helped that he made friends with all of the board of directors of the school sheerly as a strategic move and had maintained these aliances since freshman year. Man, Brian had all the bases covered.

-He told our RA when to do rounds.

-We saved every bottle that we ever drank and once every month or so Brian would order us to throw them out the window in an event that he called "cleaning" Needless to say the next day there would be groundskeepers shoveling broken glass off the front lawn. Yes, they brought snow shovels to cleen up the glass. One time upwards of 40 empty bottles of jack daniels got thrown out the window.

-One time early one morning there was a loud racket from outside our window on the 4th floor. As it got louder i got out of bed and went to the window and i opened it and saw a man standing there with an axe. after i pissed myself, i told brian that there was a man with an axe on our roof outside our window. Brian said let it be and laid back down. The noise of the man with the axe chopping shingles off the roof got louder. Suddenly, Brian rose from bed as if possessed, lit a cigarette, stuck his head out the window and yelled at the top of his lungs "i hope you fall of the fucking roof" Then slammed the window shut. The noise stops. Brian finishes his cigarette and sleeps through all his classes and blames it on the teachers. Life goes on.

-Brian actually found 2 secret passageways in the building. One was a secret room...scale of 1 -10 in difficulty finding secret room in a college dorm...i'd give it a 6. Ok but then the second room that we found was actually above the ceiling pannels in the hallway above the bathroom that led to a tunnel to a secret room with an old chair in it. Difficulty of having the insight to punch out ceiling tiles and climb through the ceiling and down a tunnel to a secret room. I'd give that an 11. How he found this room no one but the room led to an area that we could drop in on anyones room on the floor so basically we just droped through the ceilings in peoples rooms when they were sleeping and scared the shit out of them. Ok lets try this again on a scary level.

1 =taxes are scarier
5 =mild fright
10 =vital signs fail

ok

Haunted hayride =6
That ugly asian girl from Gray's Anatomy= 5
Cemetary after dark = 7

Person screeming and yelling while falling through your ceiling in the middle of the night! =10

Seriously right now i am crying that i am laughing so hard because i can't believe how funny/cruel that was. Can you think of a funnier/Scarier prank, honestly, that must have been the funniest thing i have ever seen and or heard about. Nothing trumps the reactions it got. We went all out too, like crashing through ceiling tiles and all. Possibly the funniest thing I have ever witnessed but a close second is inflating an "Inflatable Jumpy Kingdom" in the lounge of our building at 3 AM and bouncing in it. I would like to give a shout out two 2 certain individuals for there help on that (CK and MH)

-Brian Invented the sexual position called the "coffee table" The man is behind the girl. She is bend over on her knees. (doggy style) You then put an ashtray and a beer and whatever you want on her back and basically use her as a coffee table while you are doing the damn thing.

-Brian once threw a 2 keg party in our dorm room. We had a 55 gallon trash barrel as our "trashcan" ok you know how in your dorm room you have like those little 5 gallon trash cans and recycle cans. Nope, those got thrown out the window day 1. hahah, i just remembered, Brian got so pissed one time that he tried throwning my desk chair out the window and since it wouldn't fit, he got more pissed and broke it into pieces and then threw the pieces out the window. Thats amazing. Anyways back to the story, so we didn't have a pussy trash can. We had a 55 gallon trash can. like the ones that like businesses use. He brought 2 kegs in those trash cans 1 in each can and we had a 2 keg party in our room and still kicked both kegs. We then got a ton of 30 packs and finished out the night. Amazing.

-One time Brian got arrested and made friends with the cop that arrested him at St. Michaels Univ. Brian then had the cop stop at 7-11 and get cigaretts and a slushie for him on his way to jail.

-Brian drank and smoked weed every day. No glory or fabrication. Dude did this every day like it was his job.

- Brian drank more than i have ever seen anyone drink in my life...here is why you should believe me. *my credentials*

-frat brother
-bartender for 4 years
-college for 5 years

Brian has drank more than anyone i have ever seen in my life...dude i would have put everything i have ever....no scratch that...i would have put my future earnings on the idea that my boy brian would outdrink anyone. It really can't be done, like ever, like your not getting this, Brian has done stuff that health science say are impossible and by impossible i mean cheating death on a large scale. Brians BAC has risen over levels that you go blind and your vital signs fail and has had conversations with me. It makes no sense yet perfect sense at the same time. I was taught my the best. Im sure of this. Anyone that knows me knows that in a small way I am a protege of Brian. Nowhere near the same legendary status as Bry but with the same ideals that college will be the best time of your life.

-If the liqour stores closed in VT. Brian would just go to CANADA to buy liquor. Yes, Brian would travel to other countries to buy liqour and illegally transport it across the border.

-Your still not getting this...Ok, my boy Brian...would get up in the morning, smoke a bunch of weed, and start drinking around 2 PM. He would drink bud light for hours (Brian had a firm belief that bud light was a quality beer and this is a belief that i still hold to this day and it is a direct tribute to Brian) Brian also was a huge Guiness fan an to share a Guinness with him was a honor. Honestly why even bother listing out what he drank, just know that it was basically infinity drinks. Towards the end of the night Brian would do something that seperates the men from the boys...ok, in no way am i supporting this but its worth mentioning because it makes your friend who you think could outdrink brian look like a pansy. Ok brian would then at like 4 AM when he was tired do coccain sheerly so he could have enough energy to stay up and keep drinking. Ok lets name a list of people who do hardcore drugs just so they can drink...not to do coccain to do coccain....but to do it just so they could stay up longer and drink...ok here is the list.

1. Brian Finnigan
2. Not your friend

oops there goes your friends chances...sorry


Anyways Brian also blew coke off my school desk. When Brian didn't have coke he crushed up ritalin.

-Brian once heard some guys talking about how "that girl over there way hot"...the girl infact was Brians girlfriend..Since the 2 guys didn't know that,Brian bet them that he could just go over there and without talking to her just kiss the girl and she would be fine with it. He bet them 20 dollars. They agreed. Brian went over and kissed his girlfriend. He bought me a drink later with his winnings.

-I wondered if Brian today has a myspace or facebook profile and if there is a picture of him...Would would his picture look like.....This is my conclusion as quoted to one of my friends "there would be a picture of him blowing lines of coke off your girlfriends ass" Yes, im pretty sure that is exactly what Brian would put as his pic.

(THIS IS THE END OF PART 1, I WILL ADD MORE AND REPOST AS PART 2 ASAP)

Brian Finnigan ran shit. As stupid as it sounds Brian taught me, a scared little freshman, everything i really needed to know about college. I have done a lot in college and i know there are people that certainly look up to me. Just know that if you are one of those people, certainly, the person that derserves the credit is Brian. Because without him, I wouldn't be who i was today.

Roller Derby

For anyone that remembers roller derby they are now upset at me for reminding them of how their lives aren't complete without it. For those who don't know, roller derby was this sport back in the day that combined roller skating with assault and battery. Roller derby was the tits! Honestly i can't think of one sport that was less mindless and violent than roller derby. At a young age i learned that basics of roller derby from what is saw on TV. The object of the game is to clothesline as many people as possible while trying also trying to jump kick them in the face with roller skates. The official roller derby rules state that the objective is a little different than than how i stated it saying that it is kind of a race however this is more a secondary goal.



Roller derby was a huge west coast thing. They had an arena with like padded bars that lined a track that the teams skated around. I used to sit in front of the TV for hours watching people get pushed off the elevated track, fall like 8 feet and land on concrete while going like 20 miles and hour...into a pole...of doom. There were even girl leagues to with some of the toughest chicks i have ever seen. I mean these girls looked like they ate nails and shit belt buckles. Most of the "Players" were missing teeth and looked like they had didn't have a drug of choice because they liked them all. Roller derby was always on like TBS or TNT or some like B list channel. It was amazing though. It also had some wresting like drama where there would be cut scenes of fans fighting players and people getting hit with chairs except it was all real. If roller derby was still around white trash people wouldn't even be concerned with Nascar. Yes, nascar is a white trash sport. Ask a black person. Rollerball was a movie that was loosley based off the sport roller derby however roller derby is played without smiling or teamwork. In an age of "roughing the passer", "cross-checking" and other penalties, its good to know that there is a sport that encourages all of it.




Supposably there is a new series called Texas Rollergirls that is premiering but i haven't heard anything else on it.






Roller Derby: Just picture boxing mixed with roller skating

Damage Control

People today are so fucking stupid. Did that sentence offend you. Exactly. I am so sick of these people/groups of people getting so easily offended that they jump to some obscure conclusion every time their misguided attention seeking minds see an oportunity. For example today Walmart issued an appology to dvd online purchasors. Aparently when individuals were interested in purchasing such titles as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Planet of the Apes, the suggested other popular titles that were displayed below were those that apeal more to African Americans.

Before you call your lawyer in disgust please let me reiterate the robot bullshit response Walmart issued in an unecessary and ball-less damage control statement.

"Walmart is heartsick over..."

Heartsick? Besides the fact that i don't even know what the fuck that means is the clear issue that no one was offended. I think this country should just not care about people that are easily offended. Like who was the idiot that played the race card on walmart and got them "heartsick" How far can a society progress if coincidence is considered racism. Let me get this clear people...Racism and Stereotyping are two different things. Two VERY different things. Walmart, although unbelieveable that they have a heart, was the victim in this case. Not black people. I mean seriously, the next time I am doing an online purchase at per say J Crew and I see the screen that says "customers that liked our polo shirts also picked our casual white socks" I will be fucking furious knowing that those racist J Crew management motherfuckers want to see me in white. Maybe in a J Crew perfect world everything is white huh J Crew? Maybe I want some white out too? Or better yet some "Crackers" Call my lawyer. I can only hope that J Crew will be severely "Heartsick" and avert from their oppressive ways.

How am i doing so far. Right, I sound like a fucking idiot, otherwise known as the person that would have a problem with Walmart in a similar situation. Walmart should have released a press release such as this.

Dear attention seekers,

We stand by our decision and if you don't like it then next year we will suggest that you eat a dick sandwich. Or we are "Heartsick"

Walmart, bitch!


Walmart should have totally played it off like it wasn't a big deal and nothing would have ever come of this except the sheer coincidence that it infact later turned out to be as purchasors of titles such as Home Alone (possibly the whitest movie ever made) and Power Puff Girls DVD were suggested the same African American Classics. Way to throw up a premature red flag walmart.

Maybe walmart did some market research and found out that black people like the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and decided to sell it with African American titles. I didn't know that there were black people movies, i must have missed that isle in blockbuster. McDonalds, Sprite, other big companies market to minorities all the time and cross sell each other. If i were an angry black activist, it wouldn't be at how walmart was treating me, it would be how companies perceived and targeted my market. I would question...why when i listen to hip hop stations that I always hear used car offers that focus on catering to people with poor credit. Even I get offended when I hear offers like "bad credit, no credit, stolen credit?! you need a car, and you need it fast. For just 1 dollar drive away in a brand new car today. Thats right just 1 dollar down and payments as low as 50 dollars a month for the next 688 months and this new car is yours!!!" So after the car dies in like 4 years cause it is a piece of shit floor model, you still have like 49 years to go on payments. I think its just ridiculous how black people are marketed to. It is even offensive to me and i don't get offended very easily at all. I just don't see how dwelling on unfortunate coincidences trumps a pressing social problem that really exhists and is just getting worse. I am also the last person to jump to Walmarts defense, like i totally hope their stock plumets cause of this but it wont because they own wall street including the sign. Think about it, if people focused on the real problem instead of symptoms of that problem we wouldn't be in IRAQ right now. And over 2000 service men and women would have been with their famiies for the holidays. Instead they were casualties measured in escalating numbers, left to loom over an ungreatful nation. Smarten up people. This has entry has nothing to do with race or stereotyping, it has to do with knowing when to act, and how to react. This country has misguided tolerances, and it leaves me "Heartsick"