The Only Childrens Book Worth Reading

There is only room on my bookshelf for 1 book staring a fictional nerd with glasses. And no, im not talking about harry potter. Im talking about Where's Waldo. I have never read a harry potter book or seen any of those shitty movies with that red head kid that just cries and wets his pants for 2 and a half hours. Keep in mind i didn't see the movie but im pretty sure that was part of the plot. When harry is not putting brooms in between his legs, he is babling some stupid english jabber and riding the trolley. The whole story screams homoeroticism. I'd rather read Where's Waldo and by read i mean not do any reading. The author of Where's Waldo, Martin Handford, knew that a picture was worth a thousand words so he just made a bunch of pictures. Amazing! Anyways, Waldo was the original childrens book pimp. The dude had style: he had the cane, the ski cap, and who can forget red and white stripes, i mean, the guy screamed confidence. He even wore his ski cap and scarf to the beach and picked up girls. The best was that he just went everywhere; he was fearless. Like half the time you would just see him peaking out of the womens changing rooms with a smile on his face. Either that or he would just be in the middle of a fierce battle just passing through. No one would even bother trying to attack him cause they knew that if they did, they would get the cane. My favorite Where's Waldo scene was where he was just chilling out and throwing back a few beers with a bunch of vikings that he had no business hanging out with. Come to think of it, Waldo was the ultimate party crasher. When he showed up and they asked to see his invitation he probably just walked right by and was like "yeah well try to find me now bitch!" Besides Waldo just pimping out and slapping vikings around, the book had cartoon nudity, drinking, people smoking, partying, and monsters. I mean what else do you want in a childrens book?