Maybe If You Lost Your Online Degree You Could Just Print Out Another One

Im hungover and pissed off and I still went to class today....what does this have to do with this blog? Everything. I really think college is a lot more than recieving passing grades in order to get a degree. So how do you justify recieving an online degree. Its such a fucking joke to sit at a computer for 8 years and then think you can become a psychologist with your "degree" I wouldn't even hire you to bag my groceries because honestly, you probably are an anti-social elitist who only recieved an online degree to pass the time while downloading porn. Since when could you recieve an online degree and become a cop, all without ever having to even interact with another real person. "What seems to be the problem officer?" "Well im sorry m'am but this is the first time i have interacted with a humun in 4 years so please be patient. I also have now forgotten how to write with a pen so im afraid you will have to write your own ticket. Instead of handing it to me you can just email it to me cause that is the only form of transaction that i know. Ok, well i am going to sign off, just slow down next time." I really truly believe that this is exactly the caliber of police work that someone with an online degree would be capable of. The best part is that with 8 years of sitting in front of my computer i could be a medical doctor. Yeah maybe i could work for WEB M.D. haha. Actually those are the only people that would hire me cause i would actually never have treated a real patient. Im sure that i could convince them to let me do open heart surgury because after all, "I used some really good simulation programs where my cursor was the scapal and i just double clicked where i wanted to cut. Then i just cut and pasted for about 20 minutes and the computer program said the surgury was a success." Seriously, like is anyone seeing my point here. It's just a joke. What good are these online degrees? I took an online course over the winter break and i learned 1 thing: If you take an online class, you will learn nothing. Like is said college is about setting an alarm and waking up hungover and walking 20 min in the snow just to find out that your class got switched to another building, 20 min in the direction that you just came from. College is about doing presentations in front of the class. College is about having to do a big project and being paired up with the ugliest, smelliest, dumbest, laziest kid in your class and having it count for 80% of your grade. College is about getting made fun of and drawn on when you puke and pass out. College is about trudging 10 min. though snow and ice to get to your next meal, not just opening the fridge in your kitchen. College is about studying while your friends blare songs on repeat and then leave campus for 5 hours with their door locked so you cant go in and turn it off. Getting an online degree is like saying...."I'm an anti-social pussy that can't hang and i wet my bed still."


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Find out why 96% of our alumni surveyed chose "highly satisfied" to describe their University of Phoenix Online experience.

(Yeah i would be pretty fucking satisfied if i just woke up when i wanted to, sat down at my computer in my boxers with a cup of coffee and then masterbated during discussion and then got a degree)





I wonder if they email you your online degree?