The cradle of civilization will look like the cradle of civilization
How to win the war in Iraq:
There is no question in anyones mind that Bush underestimated what it would take to stabilize Iraq. I mean bush said that the troops would recieve a hero's welcome and would be "showered by flowers and candy" and by flowers and candy he meant mortars and bullets. Not a day goes by that i dont read about how 4 U.S. soldiers were killed in some small town that i can't pronounce. Dear Mr. President...Here is the solution you have been waiting for. I call it OPERATION DE-WESTERNIZATION. I am sick of supporting a country that doesn't want us there. I am sick of supporting a world that has never once come to our aid in a time of need. (see september 11th) American's have a long history of helping foreign countries in their greatest time of need. See (reason for huge national debt.) With all that said, I'm really sick of sharing my culture with a country that burns my flag and beheads my fellow citizens. So im saying take back America my friends. Take back all our American culture out of Iraq and other unsuportive nations. Sorry Iraq, no more Coca Cola Classic, no more Nike shoes, no more Michael Jordan, and especially no more New York Yankees. Fuck you Iraqi Soccer team, oops their goes your addidas soccer balls, thats what you get for us saving you from the torture of the Hussain Sons when you lost in the world cup. Thats what you get for then talking shit about america behind our backs. Stip Iraq of everything that is american. If they have so much pride in their country they can have it back. I would love mine back. Take out all of the American money and exchange it for camels or pottery or whatever currency they want. "Im sorry sir but im going to have to confiscate your General Motors automobile. You are now only permitted to use either camels or magic carpets as your source of transportation." Also make a domestic law that says that all new American cars must be alternative fuel burning, not oil. That way no american currency or investment will go to Iraq for oil basically crumbiling their economy even more than it sucks now. That way they can trade sand to Iran. What we also need is an Iraqi terrorist group that targets Iraqi terrorists. You are probably thinking that i am being silly. Pablo Escobar would not think that i was being silly. See Escobar was running shit smooth in Columbia like a dictator should. This was untill a local group of Columbian civilians trained and paid by the CIA and navy seals called "los pepes" started raining shit on Escobar's parade in the form of killing everyone that worked for him. Los pepes were just guerilla fighters that were sick of living in fear so they decided to eliminate the problem. Fight terrorism with terrorism. Why is this so hard to figure out. And now look at columbia, i mean the coffee is delicious and shakira is still beautiful. Lets set Iraqi culture back like 300 years to the year 600 A.D. Lets pull the American Culture out of a country that never apreciated it in the first place. Lets give them back their sandbox. Without american money for jobs, they will be playing in it for many years to come before they come back crying to us for help. I give them 2 weeks. It will be then that we refer them to Kuwait, France, Germany, Poland, England, and every other country that owes us a favor. I figure let them deal with some of the worlds problems for a while. Then we can sit back and make fun of them. I'll even buy a new pair of air jordans. God bless America.
There is no question in anyones mind that Bush underestimated what it would take to stabilize Iraq. I mean bush said that the troops would recieve a hero's welcome and would be "showered by flowers and candy" and by flowers and candy he meant mortars and bullets. Not a day goes by that i dont read about how 4 U.S. soldiers were killed in some small town that i can't pronounce. Dear Mr. President...Here is the solution you have been waiting for. I call it OPERATION DE-WESTERNIZATION. I am sick of supporting a country that doesn't want us there. I am sick of supporting a world that has never once come to our aid in a time of need. (see september 11th) American's have a long history of helping foreign countries in their greatest time of need. See (reason for huge national debt.) With all that said, I'm really sick of sharing my culture with a country that burns my flag and beheads my fellow citizens. So im saying take back America my friends. Take back all our American culture out of Iraq and other unsuportive nations. Sorry Iraq, no more Coca Cola Classic, no more Nike shoes, no more Michael Jordan, and especially no more New York Yankees. Fuck you Iraqi Soccer team, oops their goes your addidas soccer balls, thats what you get for us saving you from the torture of the Hussain Sons when you lost in the world cup. Thats what you get for then talking shit about america behind our backs. Stip Iraq of everything that is american. If they have so much pride in their country they can have it back. I would love mine back. Take out all of the American money and exchange it for camels or pottery or whatever currency they want. "Im sorry sir but im going to have to confiscate your General Motors automobile. You are now only permitted to use either camels or magic carpets as your source of transportation." Also make a domestic law that says that all new American cars must be alternative fuel burning, not oil. That way no american currency or investment will go to Iraq for oil basically crumbiling their economy even more than it sucks now. That way they can trade sand to Iran. What we also need is an Iraqi terrorist group that targets Iraqi terrorists. You are probably thinking that i am being silly. Pablo Escobar would not think that i was being silly. See Escobar was running shit smooth in Columbia like a dictator should. This was untill a local group of Columbian civilians trained and paid by the CIA and navy seals called "los pepes" started raining shit on Escobar's parade in the form of killing everyone that worked for him. Los pepes were just guerilla fighters that were sick of living in fear so they decided to eliminate the problem. Fight terrorism with terrorism. Why is this so hard to figure out. And now look at columbia, i mean the coffee is delicious and shakira is still beautiful. Lets set Iraqi culture back like 300 years to the year 600 A.D. Lets pull the American Culture out of a country that never apreciated it in the first place. Lets give them back their sandbox. Without american money for jobs, they will be playing in it for many years to come before they come back crying to us for help. I give them 2 weeks. It will be then that we refer them to Kuwait, France, Germany, Poland, England, and every other country that owes us a favor. I figure let them deal with some of the worlds problems for a while. Then we can sit back and make fun of them. I'll even buy a new pair of air jordans. God bless America.
posted by mcbride at 3:50 PM
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